How to Recognize Red Flags Early in a Relationship

Alright, ladies, let's talk about something we’ve all either experienced, ignored, or watched unfold in horror—red flags in relationships. You know, those little warning signs that something ain’t quite right but we convince ourselves it’s fine because “he’s just stressed,” or “he didn’t mean it like that.” Spoiler alert: he totally did.

It’s easy to get caught up in the butterflies, the late-night texts, and the “good morning, beautiful” messages (that he probably copied and pasted to three other girls). But before you start planning your couple's Halloween costume or picking out wedding colors, let’s go over some early red flags you should never, ever ignore.

1. Love Bombing – When It’s Too Good to Be True

Does he text you all day, every day, within the first week? Is he talking about how he’s never felt this way before (cue dramatic sigh)? Does he mention moving in together by month two? Ladies, this is not romance—it’s manipulation. Love bombing feels magical at first, but it’s a classic way toxic people reel you in before flipping the script.

🚩 Red Flag Translation: He’s not just really into you—he’s trying to create emotional dependency fast. Healthy love takes time, not an express pass.

2. He’s Rude to Waitstaff (or Literally Anyone in the Service Industry)

I don’t care if he treats you like a queen—if he’s snapping at the server because his fries are taking too long, that’s your sign to run, not walk, out of that restaurant. A man who disrespects people he deems “beneath” him will eventually disrespect you.

🚩 Red Flag Translation: Today it's the barista, tomorrow it's you.

3. He Trash-Talks His Exes

Listen, we all have bad breakups, and yes, some people have terrible exes. But if every woman he’s dated was “crazy,” maybe the common denominator isn’t them—it’s him. A man who has nothing good to say about any of his exes is showing you exactly how he’ll talk about you one day.

🚩 Red Flag Translation: If he paints all his exes as villains, there’s a good chance he was the problem.

4. He’s Always the Victim

If every bad thing that’s ever happened in his life was someone else’s fault, congratulations—you’ve just met a walking red flag. No accountability? No thanks.

🚩 Red Flag Translation: You’ll end up apologizing for things that aren’t your fault while he plays the eternal victim.

5. His “Jokes” Are Actually Insults

“Oh my god, I was just kidding! You’re so sensitive.” Translation: I just said something mean, and now I’m gaslighting you into thinking you’re overreacting. A good partner will joke with you, not at your expense.

🚩 Red Flag Translation: If he enjoys making you feel bad and calls it humor, it’s not a joke—it’s a red flag in disguise.

6. He’s Jealous or Possessive (and Calls It “Caring”)

A little bit of healthy jealousy is normal, but if he starts side-eyeing every male friend, questioning your whereabouts 24/7, or getting mad when you don’t text back immediately, it’s not cute—it’s controlling.

🚩 Red Flag Translation: Jealousy is not a love language.

7. He Pushes Your Boundaries

If you say no and he keeps pushing? That’s not persistence; that’s disrespect. Whether it’s physical boundaries, emotional ones, or even something small like what movie you want to watch—if he doesn’t take no for an answer now, imagine how much worse it’ll get later.

🚩 Red Flag Translation: Respect is non-negotiable. Period.

8. You Feel Drained Instead of Happy

Ever been on a date with someone and left feeling exhausted instead of excited? That’s your intuition screaming at you. If you constantly feel anxious, second-guess yourself, or find yourself making excuses for his behavior, listen to that feeling.

🚩 Red Flag Translation: Your body and mind know when something is off—trust yourself.

9. He Gives You the Ick (and You Ignore It)

If something about him just feels off, but you can’t put your finger on it, that’s enough of a reason to walk away. Our instincts pick up on things before our brains fully process them.

🚩 Red Flag Translation: The ick doesn’t lie.

10. Your Friends Don’t Like Him

Your besties aren’t blinded by the “omg, he’s sooo cute” haze like you are. If your friends—especially the ones who love you—don’t like him, pay attention. Sometimes, people outside the relationship can see the red flags clearer than you.

🚩 Red Flag Translation: If the people who know and love you aren’t fans, there’s a reason.

Final Thoughts: Red Flags Are Not Challenges to Overcome

Too many women (my past self included) think that red flags are just problems to fix. No. Red flags are warnings that the road ahead is rocky, dangerous, and not worth the trip.

The biggest lesson? Don’t ignore them. Red flags don’t get better with time—they only turn into bigger, messier, soul-draining problems. So, if you notice them early, do yourself a favor and exit gracefully before you waste time, energy, and therapy money on a relationship that was doomed from the start.

And if you ever need a reminder, just ask yourself this: Would you want your best friend or sister dating this guy? If the answer is no, then girl, neither should you.

Now go forth, date wisely, and may your red flag radar be sharp! 🚩

Thankful for your presence, Neja